I tried something different.

I have learned to feel overwhelmed when I anticipate a busy schedule. I don’t know why, but I suspect it started in graduate school and became worse during employment when life was a never-ending marathon of very hard work and little sleep. It started to bother me that I noticed myself trying to avoid doing too much, or having too many items on my agenda. It is not like me to be underproductive. When I began to question why to find out what bothered me about having commitments, I realized it was because I had been so conditioned to losing myself in my work or other obligations. I tried something different. I promised myself during the busy times that I would schedule breaks-real ones when I can be alone to collect my thoughts and hydrate and nourish myself and not feel like I have to be on a marathon. I would even take time out to rest for a couple minutes and quiet my thoughts. As soon as I penciled these times into my day I knew I was taking myself seriously, that I am a priority, but I can still be as productive and accomplished as if I had been running on batteries. It can be a beautiful life as well as a productive life and it will be for me.