I didn't know what to expect for my first meeting with Seran. I had heard of life coaches, certainly. I have even thought it might be a great idea to go to one. I never ever thought I would actually do it. Yet there I was, following the direction Seran gave me to get to her office, and thinking all the while, "I am pretty lucky to have this opportunity." The time for this in my life could not be better. Just the day before I had learned that the temporary job I have while I am looking for full time employment in my highly specialized field is ending this summer. No more bad pay and part time hours, no more partial insurance, none of which I ever complained about because I felt lucky to even have that little for the time being. I honestly felt there was no mistake that I was about to meet a woman who seemed over the phone like she has more energy and insight to share in one phone call than some people have in a lifetime.
I was nervous at first, but I let Seran guide me through the first session. I knew this would take some work, and I was willing. At the end it occurred to me that no one ever told me until that session with Seran what was correct about me, what I did well. I talked about many of the problems I wrote about in my intro blog. One "aha" moment I had was learning through her example just how to be the master of my own thoughts and feelings. Face it, we are all living this life. No one can prevent sadness and disappointment. They are part of living. But we can prevent them from harming our lives by changing perspective, actually thinking differently about a set of circustances. This is not mere optimism, as it is with 'the glass is half full'. To me, it means looking at a circumstance in truth and deciding to frame it differently. This may involve admitting we do not know whether an event that appears to be negative is really bad; but admitting that, because I do not know all there is to know, this could be the plan playing out.
There is a lot of freedom in admitting that we are not all-powerful and do not know everything there is to know. It is hopeful. It is also honest. After all, it is the way it is. And so I am giving myself permission to live this week without having to be perfect, and without having to act like a doormat just to be accepted. I am vowing this week to be true to myself, my needs, my desires and my feelings without fear. It is the only way to live.
6/14/2007
A Little bit about me - Karen
People who know me know that I want to change everything about my life...and they agree with me. I am in a spot I cannot seem to get out of. I am 42, highly educated, unable to get a proper job that matches my education and abilities, and I am exactly 5 days away from my bariatric surgery that promises to save me from my life of obesity. It also presents new challenges I have never had to face before. I have never been married, and I want to be; and I have no children and would like very much to have a child in my life, a loving family of my own.
When one considers that I have lost several people who are closest to me in my family over the years, it is a wonder to them that I am still trying for a better life. The truth is, I never stop hoping things will change and working toward that. I am not afraid of change. I welcome it. Aside from the bereavement I have suffered, I think many of my problems stem from a life long battle with my wieght, trying to change it for years through diet, then giving up on that and trying to concentrate on self acceptance. The truth is harsh but real, no matter if an overweight woman accepts herself, much of society does not. Hence, my trouble getting the employment I deserve or a partner in life I feel I deserve.
I knew my self esteem had suffered greatly through the years, not only from my weight issues and the rejection that brings, but from having to say goodbye to my father at 13, my brother at 23 and now my sister and closest friend 10 a year ago. Well, ready or not, my life is about to change and I want it to be for the better. I want everything in life I have dreamed of and I want to be able to give more to others than I thought I ever had. I have never been afraid to work hard for anything, I have only ever needed a chance. I am ready to live fully for the first time ever and I could really use your help getting centered, getting peaceful and getting my mind to accept what miracles may lie ahead. Take my hand and walk me to the starting line, please, so I can finally begin to run!
When one considers that I have lost several people who are closest to me in my family over the years, it is a wonder to them that I am still trying for a better life. The truth is, I never stop hoping things will change and working toward that. I am not afraid of change. I welcome it. Aside from the bereavement I have suffered, I think many of my problems stem from a life long battle with my wieght, trying to change it for years through diet, then giving up on that and trying to concentrate on self acceptance. The truth is harsh but real, no matter if an overweight woman accepts herself, much of society does not. Hence, my trouble getting the employment I deserve or a partner in life I feel I deserve.
I knew my self esteem had suffered greatly through the years, not only from my weight issues and the rejection that brings, but from having to say goodbye to my father at 13, my brother at 23 and now my sister and closest friend 10 a year ago. Well, ready or not, my life is about to change and I want it to be for the better. I want everything in life I have dreamed of and I want to be able to give more to others than I thought I ever had. I have never been afraid to work hard for anything, I have only ever needed a chance. I am ready to live fully for the first time ever and I could really use your help getting centered, getting peaceful and getting my mind to accept what miracles may lie ahead. Take my hand and walk me to the starting line, please, so I can finally begin to run!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
