Be True to Myself

I made the vow for this week that I talked about in my second entry because it occurred that I never have been true to myself. I know my life is in need of improvement because of it. I was raised to believe that self sacrifice was a sign of strength, and it was expected of me. I have lived enough to know that maybe that was a coping technique for being raised in a large family, but that is no way to live life. I don't even know myself from all these layers of accepting less than I know I deserve and always waiting for better times. There is no time like the present to have things improve. First, though, I need to know me. I need to find out who I am and what I need. To do this, I have actually been stopping and listening to what my mind tells me and not what I think I should think. I believe that if I find out what I want and need, what really is the answer to my being here, then I can make better choices. I am ready to accept what that is knowing that it may not, after all, be what I have been thinking I want all along. Do I want the 50 hour a week-plus job or do I want to do something on my own? Do I need a husband before I have a child (I think it is ideal, yes, but what do I want, not what others want for me). There are more possibilities out there to be considered about every aspect of my life. If I am really starting to live fully for the first time, then I am going to do what really is right for me.